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Post holiday blues...

I love the holidays! I love going into a store and it not only does it smells like Thanksgiving and Christmas but it also looks and smells like chaos. Now I know that sounds weird but maybe I'm smelling the stress people are feeling when the holidays arrive or maybe it's all the food that they have in their bags; but for some reason I can smell the chaos that's running around during the holiday season, or I've just been working in retail for too long. I also feel as though I get a sort of rush during the holiday season especially because I work in a store that covers everything needed for the holidays from dinnerware to glassware to decorating both the outside and especially the inside of the house.

The rush that we get at Pier 1 is awesome!!! One minute we'll go from dealing with one to two customers to dealing with a line that reaches the end of the store. All the wrapping, all the phones calls, the bagging, the yelling, the tapping. All the customers we have come in, especially the ones who come in and are in a hurry and need a quick gift. I love knowing I can point to something and sell it to them without really trying. I love how at the end of the day we all want to pass out from exhaustion because we've been running around like crazy not only helping customers but also trying to get our homes and presents ready as well. I love it all!!

I love walking down a block and seeing how the neighbors decorate their homes and then feel sad for those that don't. I'm always tempted to run to the door and ask them if I could decorate their house but then I think they would call the cops on me and tell them "that there is a crazy lady trying to decorate my house for Christmas. please arrest her." I especially love walking into my house and seeing how festive and full of life it is. From October-January the inside of the house is completely decorated from ceiling to floor with Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas decorations we go a little crazy...or rather my sister and I go a little crazy.

We compete to see who can go crazier but we're completely neutral when it comes to Thanksgiving. Then comes January and everything has to come down and the house is back to pretty self but I always get a little sad because I liked how festive and crazy everything looks including the stores. I especially love the way Macy's and Pier 1 Imports looks when its ready for the Christmas season, it looks so beautiful and festive and just makes me soooo happy. Then come January its all gone, all the scents, chaos, the rush, cheerfulness, cards, all the magic that comes with the holidays is all gone. That's when I get sad. So here are my questions to all of you...what do you love about the holidays? Do you get sad once the holidays are over?

Continuing from July "The New Guy"

OK last time I left off with I had met with Hannibal and we spent the entire day together. We walked around Downtown, talked, ate and then we both caught the train and went home or rather he went home I went and crashed with a friend of mine. Well after that day he and I kept talking we'd talk on Facebook for hours, we'd talk on the phone constantly we were becoming friends. I know what you're thinking "I thought you guys were already friends" well as I had also said we used to work together and then I left Home Depot to focus on school so we didn't really speak to each other for about 6 years. It wasn't until the summer before I started school that we talked again and then met up with a friend of ours to catch up and then he and I went ice-skating together (where I didn't fall! Yay!). Then after that we didn't speak for about 6 months.

Then one day he texted me completely out of the blue and told me he and his girlfriend broke up, to make an extremely long story short we started talking everyday either on the phone or Facebook and at times we talked 3 or 4 times a day. At first I'll admit it got annoying to hear my phone ring and have it be him, but I guess the shrink mode in me couldn't help it and I'd pick up the phone and listen to him go on and on about his ex.Hannibal also told me it seemed as though a lot of his friends were getting tired of him rambling on and tormenting himself. After a few weeks he seemed to be doing better and then he developed a crush on another girl, and he told her and she not only rejected him but told him they could fool around instead because she was keeping herself available for her ex-loser boyfriend.

Well needless to say then came another set of weeks of him being upset all over again and who was there for him? That's right....me, finally one day I got fed up and ranted and scolded him, (I was having a bad day and I was pretty irritated and I took it out on him) I believe my exact words to him "Oh my freaking god!! Really? Really Hannibal?! How much more of this s*@t are you going to take?! Lyme disease girl is a freaking loser and if she can't appreciate a smart and decent man that's right in front of her stupid eyes then she is F*#@ing moron!! She does not deserve a wonderful man such as yourself, and if she can't see what an amazing man she has in front of her well Hannibal, it's time for you to man up and start moving on to someone who will not only appreciate you but will love having you in her life!!" (Oh and in-case you were wondering why I called her Lyme disease girl its' because her ex-loser boyfriend had Lyme disease and she had to get tested for it. I don't remember if she had contracted it as well)

After a few seconds of silence and me realizing what I had just said I thought "Great! Here I am pissed off about something else and I'm taking out on him, wow I'll be a great therapist and he'll probably not want to talk to me again." I apologized and told him I had a bad day and I shouldn't have taken it out on him, at first he laughed and said it was fine and then said I was right. Then after that day I noticed he hadn't called me or anything so one day I picked up the phone and called him. He sounded as though he was doing great, I told him I guess I had gotten used to all the phone calls that I actually missed talking to him, so we started talking again everyday either on Facebook or on the phone.

Of course I didn't realize it at the time, a few of my friends pointed it out that I was crushing on him, well I didn't believe them at first and then I realized they were right. Well I was trying to figure out a way to tell him, all of my friends were like "just tell him, it's better to find out and stop tormenting yourself with not knowing" well I did tell him... but I didn't exactly tell him...ok truth be spoken I had gotten drunk and texted him how I felt. I know it was not the ideal way of telling him but when you drink you don't think. The next day I saw what I had sent him, not only did I tell him I liked him but I also mentioned Lyme disease girl and reminded him of how stupid she was, but I also told him I wasn't sure what I wanted so that was why I was going to crush the crush. (He had told Lyme disease girl that, but in the end it didn't work out that way)

So guess what happened? Well I tried calling him and waited for hours on Facebook for him to log on so we could talk about it, no luck at first then finally one day I caught him and we talked about it. I told him I meant everything I said (without thinking about the part of me crushing the crush) he said "don't worry about it, people get drunk and do stupid things all the time, no worries." Now before I get the finale I forgot to mention he had just gotten a job at G.E. and he said part of his training would be in Chicago and the rest in...Milwaukee, Wisconsin!! Well since I was going to be close by because of school we had made plans to hang out. Now the grand finale.

Well I'm sure you thought we probably got together right...wrong! Quite the contrary, Hannibal stopped speaking to me, he never called me or responded to any of my texts,e-mails, Facebook postings until a few weeks ago I was on the brink of sending him a carrier pigeon. I had posted a message on Facebook "I see you're still alive good to know" well that was back in August before I left for school, well the week I went back to Wisconsin we chatted online for a few minutes and he told me he had changed his number, he gave it to me very reluctantly. Well going back to the Facebook post his response to my posting was "Yep still alive sorry I didn't call you back." Needless to say I declared him dead after that, because I didn't like how he completely disappeared on me without an explanation.

Actually it wasn't his disappearance that upset me it was more disappointment that he would do that; after I had mentioned how an ex of mine did the same thing and I don't like when people do that. If you're not going to talk to me again well have the decency to tell me to my face and not leave me wondering what I did wrong. He no longer exists to me, I unfriended him on Facebook, erased his number and any other information I had on him. So there you go that's the rest of the story of Hannibal, sorry it took so long to get the rest of the story out but I got very busy after all of this happened. Ok I'm lying I was upset, I kept going over the entire incident over and over in my head trying to figure out where I went wrong but was not able to come up with anything so I threw myself into anything that would keep my mind off the subject. So there you go, so let's see what are my questions for all you... Well first your opinion (obviously) and have you ever done this to someone either declaring them dead or just disappearing on them and if so why?

{On a side note I started this post on October 1st it is now November 2nd and well it took so long to finish this one because I was still pretty upset for a while, so once again sorry it took so long to finish it up.}

One Year later...

Tomorrow night I leave for Mexico, the 16Th is the one year anniversary of my aunt's death. She died last year very unexpectedly, she had cancer a few years and she had surgery, came out of the hospital ready to keep living. Then one day she said her stomach started hurting so she went to the doctor and apparently she needed surgery again because her stomach had swollen up like a balloon. The doctor said if her stomach continued to swell up there was a possibility of it exploding, so the next day she went in for surgery and did not come out alive. While in surgery she had a stroke and then fell into a coma which she did not wake up from. The night before I was in my dorm watching TV waiting for the phone to ring, waiting for my sister to call and tell me that our aunt had woken up from the coma, my family was at home waiting we didn't get much sleep that night.

Then the calls came around 8:00 a.m.and my sister bought a ticket for my mom to leave ahead of us, my dad at fist couldn't make up his mind if he should stay or go; regardless of that they were also waiting for me because I was school in Wisconsin. I remember walking around frantically in my dorm crying not knowing what to grab, I kept trying to call work to see if anyone had gotten there early. I kept thinking "if I were calling the Oak Park Pier 1 Ana would definitely be there by now or hell I would just call one of their cells." Then I realized I had no way of getting to the train station, I was going to ask my neighbor for a ride but in the end my therapist took me. I had an appointment with him that day, which I obviously had to cancel. Before that I had emailed and called my professors to let them know about my situation, but I remember being afraid of missing class because the courses are only 8 weeks longs and I was afraid of being dropped but in the end I was told to not worry at all. I was at the train for what seemed like an eternity because I had missed the 10:30 train, by 10 minutes. The next one was not until 12:30. At first I sat there with my thoughts and that got annoying, and I wouldn't stop crying so I tried calling one of former professors but she was unavailable so I called my mentor and she calmed me down, at least enough for me to get on the train.


Afterwards I was waiting and this man came up to me trying to get me to let him give me a ride to Chicago in the end I told him "Look I don't mean to sound rude, but I just lost someone I really loved and I have to go home and go to the funeral and I really don't want to be bothered right now." Truth be spoken he talked for a while but I don't remember a word he said. I was thinking about the last time I had seen my aunt and how I was a little disappointed that she didn't want to go to the beach with us in the end but in the end we were all saying that it was better that she didn't go. She loved us so much, she was more of a grandmother to me than my actual grandmothers, I don't remember when I told her this but I remember when I told her, she hugged me and told me she loved me.
The funeral was by far one of the saddest days in my life, in Mexico they don't hold a wake they bury the person the very next day; which means that when my sister, dad and me got there, we only had about an hour or two to rest and get ready. I didn't want to look inside the coffin because I knew I would start crying and for some reason I didn't want to cry. I was trying to be strong for my nephews but in the end at the cemetery I finally couldn't take it anymore, I saw everyone else crying even my mom and I though "OK if my mom is crying then it's OK for me to cry." i thought that day was the saddest day of my life, but I was wrong the saddest day was the last night we were there.

In Mexico when someone dies they have a rosary services for a week, and basically what it is, it's a prayer service for an hour every night for a week. I got away with being in the next room babysitting the only baby that did not cry when I held her ( a rarity for me). The last night however I had to be in the room and we had a little memorial setup with lots of flowers, candles, and a cross in the middle of it all. The cross represented her, when the cross was picked up, and her Godparents were sweeping up the ashes, I again tried to not cry but saw my mom and everyone else just bursting with tears, and I was sort of relieved to know that it was OK to cry. It was like saying goodbye to her allover again, I couldn't stand it.

All I kept thinking was "why the hell would you guys do something like this, this feels horrible. Saying goodbye to her once was hard enough but having to feel like you're saying goodbye all over again. I hate this!" After that service I felt so tired, and I could see it in everyone's faces as well. Everyone looked as if they were exhausted and didn't know what to do next, not a very good feeling to have in my opinion. The next day we were on a plane back to Chicago, the next day I was on a train back to Wisconsin but I decided I didn't want to be alone after this. I also was not to crazy about leaving my mom so I commuted back and forth for the entire first semester. When I went back to Wisconsin I stayed in my room for a few hours before my first class and cried for what seemed like an eternity. Went to class tried but failed miserably at focusing.

When I went back to Chicago that Wednesday I called my friend Darien and asked him to meet me. He called me when I got into town and asked if I wanted to go out with him and a few friends for margaritas. "At first I thought Darien doesn't like margaritas why would he go?" I wasn't in the mood to drink, I just I don't know what I wanted to be honest with you, I knew I didn't want to go home right away that much I remember, I ended up waiting for him at the library where I bursted into tears with a friend of mine, thinking "ok I cried, so I won't cry in front of Darien." When he picked me up I tried to act like nothing was wrong but that lasted about two seconds before he held me and I cried for a while. Afterwards we went for hot chocolate and walked around and talked, and that's all I remember now. Here's an interesting fact I don't remember thinking about it after that night with Darien for a while at least until Christmas eve, because that was going to be the first Christmas without her.

Somewhere in between all the crying and all of the rosaries and the food I thought about two things: The first one being me thinking at the funeral, "wow, now with my aunt gone, my mom and sister are head of the family now. My mom is the head when we're there and my sister is the head when my isn't there." The other thing I thought and I told my mom to do was that our sister was going to need us to really stay in touch, especially with the holidays coming up. My mom agreed with me 100%. I do remember other little things but they are not as important as everything else. We leave tomorrow night, "why are we leaving so early when she died the 16Th?" we asked our mom apparently in Mexico you start the rosaries 10 days before and then the actual day of the anniversary you hold a small church ceremony. I know you all were not able to see this but I was sitting crying my eyes as I was typing all of this. Remembering everything and every little detail about that week and knowing we're about to go through it again was very sad; truthfully I'll be surprised if I make it through the week without crying once. So here's my question for you...do you remember every little detail about the saddest days in your life?

This might get published...

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a paper it was more of an analogy between finding and creating the perfect brownie recipe and finding the right college for high school students. Well my professor loved it and suggested that I try to get it published and well I'm going to try but I get the feeling it would not be good enough so, here's my question to you read my paper and telling me what you think about it, and suggestions would be very helpful. So read away....

"Finding the right college is like finding and creating the perfect brownie recipe"
If a high school student came to me and told me they wanted to be successful the first thing I would do is ask why do they want to be successful, and if they told me they wanted to be successful because they want everyone to be envious of them I would tell that they have to go to college, because in order to achieve success you must be willing to put the work in and get educated. Then I would tell them that picking a college is like creating a perfect recipe for a batch of brownies. In order to gain success and achieve their goals a person has to be willing to try and fail, but they also must be willing to fail on more than one occasion; because in order to create a great recipe one must be will to suffer through a few stomachs before coming up with the perfect recipe. “I can’t win anything until I’m willing to lose everything” (Kevin Shultz)

There are six steps one must take in order to achieve the perfect brownie recipe, this includes many trial and errors. Once someone has done the research, put in the time and the energy and has tried countless recipes they will have created brownies that everyone will not only devour but will be completely envious because they were not able to come up with a recipe that delicious. Just as there six steps to perfecting the best brownie recipe there are six steps a student must take in order to go to a college that will help them get ready for the real world and help them to achieve the success they want.

Step one research, in order to create the perfect recipe one has to research and see what kind of brownies are out in the world because not every recipe is the same. There are different countries which may have different ingredients or the country’s ingredients may have a different type of taste to them because they might be grown differently and because of the differences the brownies may distinct taste. For instance Mexico’s chocolate tends to have a different taste from the type of chocolate that is made in the US, in my opinion it tends to taste more like dark chocolate.

A person can also look at award winning recipes online or in cookbooks and they can compare and contrast the differences between the recipes, by doing this they will be able to see which recipes stand out the most. People who post their ingredients on line or have sold their recipes to companies will do it because they want to show the world how they have successfully created a recipe every person will want to have and want to get recognition for it. “Students who rely on performance goals might be motivated to gain recognition for their accomplishment or to avoid the embarrassment of a poor performance.” (Burger, 2008; 199) When students go to high school many of them know they want to go to college but they know they are not only in competition with the thousands of students in the U.S but the millions of other students in different countries who are all trying to get into the same school and because of this they are determined to stand out from everybody else.

Step two once you have done your research and found a few recipes that not only sound delicious but also have a few of the same ingredients, a person should also look for recipes that o have at least two or three different ingredients form one another. The one or two different ingredients tend to be the key ingredients which make the recipe stand out from every other recipe. For instance one recipe may require molasses, while the other requires miniature non sweetened chocolate chips. Then it’s time to take each recipe find the ingredients which at times can be a bit tedious because at times a local grocery store will not carry certain ingredients and because one has to see if the ingredient can be replaced with another one that will help the brownies have a distinct taste, for instance there are a few grocery stores that do not carry molasses or only have sweetened miniature chocolate chips.

Just like finding recipes students should research and find out what types of schools are available to them. They should look for a few schools that not only catch their attention but offer a few things that are completely different from other schools. For instance one school may offer a class in learning Japanese calligraphy while another school may offer a course in learning to make handbags. Then the student should look to see what the college admission requirements are in order for a student to get accepted, for instance some schools may require SAT scores but not require ACT scores, or at times they will not require either one but require the admission essay and possibly a resume to stand out from all of the other applicants essays.

Step three once you have your ingredients it’s time to have patience and put a few recipes together this will require a lot of time because there are moments when one thinks certain ingredients will go well together but in the end the combination can be an awful blend. For example the combination of chocolate and sweet and low sugar is not a very good combination because sweet and low can be over powering and because of this sweet and low will over power the taste of the chocolate and in the end instead of tasting chocolate people will only taste the sweet and low. When looking at college requirements, most of them will require an admission essay a person should writing down a few ideas they could talk about in their essay. They also make sure the courses they are taking in high school will help them be successful in college. Taking only the course requirement in high school and not taking enough extracurricular classes to expand one’s horizons will make a bit difficult for students to want to expand their horizons in college.

Step four once you have the have a few recipes put together then comes the fun part, baking and tasting. Once you have ingredients all together in a bowl take a bit of the mixture to taste to make sure it tastes good. By tasting the raw mixture a person will be able to determine whether or not to even bother baking the mixture because if the brownie mixture does not taste well together before its baked then chances are once you bake the mixture the brownies themselves will not taste good either. If the raw mixture does not taste good then the baker should try to find out what ingredients did not work well together, they should also try to figure out why the recipe did not work. When a student has narrowed down the schools they are interested in they should not only read about the schools but they should also take a tour of the school and see if the school looks as amazing in person as it does in the college catalogs.

Because I can honestly say there were times when the schools sounded great in print but when it came down to seeing them in person there were times when I was not as impressed as I thought I would be. There were a few times when I walked onto the campus and thought “really was the picture they put on the catalog from another school because this looks nothing like the picture.” There were also times when I sat in on a few classes found myself thinking “this teacher is putting me to sleep, could he speak any slower.” Then there were times when I would to go to a school and think instantly “oh wow this campus is so beautiful and so serene.” I remember one of the first things I thought when sitting in Concordia’s classes was “wow this teacher really loves her job.” I remember seeing the enthusiasm as she spoke about the subject and everybody in the class was very engage and excited as well it got me excited as well.

Step five trial and error as I mentioned before a person has to have a few different recipes before finding the right one. This may mean baking four or five different recipes before finding the recipe that makes your stomach scream “give me more brownies!” This also means having other people try your recipe and getting suggestions from other people as to how to improve your recipe. This is also applies to students when they are looking at colleges they should not only visit and read about the college they should also talk to students who go to the school and see why they chose the school.

High school student should also try to remember when choosing a college to go to they should try to write down the reasons they are interested in the schools they have chosen; reasons such as liking how the professors teach, whether or not they like the idea of having to pay to use the laundry machines, or to pay for toilet paper. Whether or not they will also be able to stay in a dorm or save money by living at home with their families could also be a factor in making the decision. They may want to factor whether or not lecture halls will be an issue when choosing a school because there are some students who like their classes to be small because they want to have the ability to have that one on one connection with their professor. They should also remember to choose more than one school to consider because there is always the possibility that when they apply the school may reject them.

Step six the perfect recipe, after attempting many different ingredients and after having tried a variety of different recipes and after having a plethora of brownies by the 30 or 100th recipe a person should be able to choose the recipe that made their stomach and mind melt the minute they took a bite of the brownie. After going through three or four years of high school, taking all the course requirements necessary not only to graduate high school but to be able to go to college and after taking ACT and SAT classes that will help them to get the highest score possible. Then after writing one to twenty drafts of a college admission essay and submitting all twelve of their college application, they will come home from school one day and get the acceptance letter from the school that melted their stomach as well as their mind.

Once they are in college they will have the opportunity to start their career as a college student. In college they will be given the opportunity to take as many classes as they want to help them expand their horizons and give them an opportunity to see the types of careers that are available to them. Then once they have chosen a major they will be able to throw themselves into the major that will make not only make them happy but will give them the success they need.
There were six steps involved in creating the recipe for the most amazing brownies and just like the brownies choosing the right college requires six steps as well. As I said earlier in my paper a person has to have a lot of patience because choosing the wrong college is the same as choosing a wrong ingredient to put in the recipe, one bad ingredient could lead to the worst brownies, choosing a college for the wrong reasons could lead to four to five years of being miserable in college.

Flooding ...the after affects of a long storm

Well you know how I said that I love it when it rains but I hate it at the same time. Well the flooding of the basement is what I hate about it. As most of you know we had a huge storm last night and it did not stop until about 10:30 this morning and even then we still had a drizzle. Well as you can see from the pictures we have a pool in the basement, of course by the time I woke up the water had gone down, slowly, very slowy, but you get the idea. We basically haven't really slept, I went to sleep at about 4 a.m, to wake up at about 8:44 a.m to a phone call from daddy and he claimed to have hidden a pump for us but someone found it and sold it. Now I used to work at Home Depot and like in the business world it's all about who you know. If I would have been there and asked one of the associates to give me a pump or save it they would have done it because A)I'd bribed them with a promise of a baked good, B)they liked me and C)because I'm a girl and mostly about 97% of the store were male and they were horn dogs and I was the cashier they couldn't have; so of course I used that to my advantage, I'd flirt, smile and get my way. Actually I still do that at times when I visit and need a favor from someone there. We have a pool down there. A girl's gotta do what she's gotta do.

Now what I find interesting is the fact that water tends to come in slowly and yet somehow it's able to knock things that weigh a good 20-30 pounds over onto its side; or the other thing happens and the water knocks the lids off the totes and everything comes out or stays in the tote because it's full of water. So my plans for today have officially been cancelled because now after calling and calling and calling some more stores asking to see where in the hell I could find a pump or rent, bribe whatever needed to be done to get one in the end to come out with nothing. I spent about 2 1/2 hours calling every Menards, Home Depot, Ace Hardware store trying to find a pump and every place I called were completely out. By the time I called the 20Th store I didn't even use full sentences I went from saying"Hi does your store have any pumps to buy or rent?" to calling and saying "Hi, pumps you got any?" Up until Ace hardware store teased me and had me believing they had one (of course they didn't)I didn't even know what it was called or that apparently there are a couple of different ones. I learn something new everyday.

The first one is the one everyone either owns or wants and that one is called the Utility pump, with this one you just set it onto the floor and turn it on and the water goes through a tube and gets rid of the water. The second one is the one people could use but only if they have a pit, to my understanding and I like to think I got the idea, you put it down in the pit of where the water is coming from and manually pump the water out. Now I just got a call from my sister apparently Home Depot is out of everything one needs to get the water out, hoses, tubes, pumps everything. After living here for 19 years you think we would have bought a pump right? Well we do have one but A)we don't know how to use it and B) we don't have the necessary tools to use it properly. I can hear the water going down, I can hear my sister cracking jokes which as usual we do when we're in crisis mode. We joke because what else is there to do but laugh about a situation in which you have no control over.

And of course I'm kicking myself in the butt quite a bit because after the first flood of the season we got lucky and the water didn't get as high as last night, but that get me to clean out the attic and put my school totes there instead so that I didn't have to worry about re buying some of my school things...nope. So now not only are we going to have clean and wash like there's no tomorrow but we'll also have to check to see what I can still use and what I'll need to re buy. So here's my questions to all of you what are the after affects of a long heavy storm? And what do you do to try to not panic? And what were your plans for today that now because Chicago is almost 90% flooded according to the weather channel have either been altered or cancelled?

New guy...

Like right now I'm actually thinking about someone and here's the best part it's not my friend Darien or my ex that I wrote when it finally hit me that he and I were broken up. I'll admit even though we had broken up I was still a little hopeful that he would come around and want to be with me but it wasn't until my birthday when it really hit me for the last time that he and I will never be together. In fact I'll catch you all up a bit now unfortunately I don't remember exactly what was said because this happened over a few months ago; but after we broke up we still talked to each other and tried (but failed)to be friends and on my birthday after getting many happy birthday texts, Facebook posts and phone calls I even had a few people text me at midnight the night before my birthday and throughout the entire day I noticed he did not acknowledge my birthday (not even a day later like a few people did). So I texted him and told him my birthday wish was to be with him, and unfortunately I do not remember exactly what he said but it was something along the lines of "you say you want to be with me now, but after a while you'll think twice about it. But seriously hope you're doing well" Or something like it, it was actually very confusing I wanted to cry that day I wanted to throw the pinata I had bought that day and just watch it break into pieces. Because that's how I felt, I felt as though he had taken my last ounce of hope and broken it into a million pieces.

So after my birthday I decided to forget him, no more friends no more anything with him in my life. Now here's the person I'm actually thinking about right now, I met him about 7 years ago at Home Depot he and I both used to work there, {ok just as a side note the lights are acting as though they want to go out so hopefully that won't happen, but I thought I'd share that with all of you} We hung out a couple of times and at first I thought he was boring and strange, but at the same time I always thought he was very sweet. We worked together so it was hard to not see each other, we talked every now and then I left to focus on school and we lost touch with one another for quite a while and then last summer I was helping my friend Meg fill out job applications online and I was signed onto AIM and he found me. We talked for a little while, and then decided to get together him, me and another mutual friend of ours, it was the longest 3 hours of my life. I felt as though I was pulling teeth to get either of them to talk, all I kept thinking about was "when is the time to say ok I have to get going?" After that day, I didn't speak to...(we'll call him Hannibal) Hannibal for a while then one night I was in the school library studying when I received an instant message from him on AIM and we decided to get together that weekend and go ice skating. I had fun, suck at ice skating but fun nonetheless. After that we found each other on Facebook, didn't speak very often until one day I get a text from him telling me that the girl he was seeing cheated on him and they broke up. I hate when girls do that, at least have the decency to tell your boyfriend why you cheated.

After not speaking for months and all of a sudden getting this message I felt horrible for him, I wanted to get on a train that night and see him but I couldn't because I had class the next day, so as luck would have it a friend of mine was suppose to host a makeup party but in the end it was canceled but by then I had already bought my ticket so I went home but crashed at her place and saw him. I spent the entire day with him, you would think after talking to him on the phone 28 times and talking on Facebook about 14 times that week I would have gotten sick of talking to him but no I didn't. He looked so sad... To be continued... Ok I started writing this in July it is now October and in the next blog I will tell you what happened after that meeting because it did not end the way I hoped it would.